Matthew is 34 years old and came to the McLaren Hotel after spending most of his life on the street. He started using crystal meth after the loss of his partner. 

Matthew has lived at the McLaren for about three years and has been sober now for one year, though it has not been easy for him, as he described: “When I walk out my door, there’s a trigger somewhere or something. The whole place is a trigger.”

Staying healthy, both physically and mentally is a priority for Matthew at this stage of his recovery. The supports available to him have helped, but there is a gap that makes recovery difficult. “Everything is unhealthy, so my physical health is just dwindling,” he said. 

The physical environment has also been important to his recovery: “You know, when you walk in your room, you want it to be welcoming. You want to feel good… it’s just the first thing you see in the morning and the first thing you see after your day…. When I first moved in there, I would find mice in there. Just the dilapidated state that the hotel is in, like the walls are ripping off and, you know, the water doesn’t work and… all those things affect you. You know what I mean? Like if you want to, you want to have a better life then you have to have better surroundings.”

Matthew thinks about the future and what he would like to see for himself. Even when he struggles to believe that he deserves a better quality of life, he is looking for a pathway forward: “I’m trying to get courage to get a job or get into Manitoba Housing; I’m trying to do it right this time. I’m telling myself positive affirmations like, ‘I do deserve’ and ‘I am appreciated’ or ‘I am deserving’…. I know who I am, but I’m still trying to figure that out, so like I’m kind of like a caterpillar going into a cocoon and coming out. You know right now, I’m in the cocoon trying to change myself.” ….